Ending a relationship can be simple or it can be problematic, and for every one person, there is a point where enough is enough. Regardless of the kind relationship, it sometimes helps to seek counseling to find therapeutic ways to overcome emotional hurdles. So, when is it time? For starters, when you start coming second to everything else. Feeling desired and wanted are necessary in every romantic relationship because that is the foundation of why two people come together.
It may be difficult to articulate, but voicing to your partner that you need quality time with them is imperative. Human nature sometimes allows us the ignorance of knowing when we are in the wrong and at that time it is the duty of another person to point it out. Secondly, people talk about long distance relationships being difficult and unrealistic, but what about the person who is sitting next to you but mentally, emotionally, and spiritually somewhere else?
Some couples describe their relationship being in a rut, and that can be a clue to ending it or working on the issues. Delicately and sensitively deciding on that issue can be tough. Another difficult situation is when a partner is pulling away from you and you do not know why. As counselors, we see all kinds of situations, and the only thing they all have in common is fear of the unknown. Naturally, you start questioning the “why” and “what if” possibilities.
If the communication in your relationship has left you at a point where you fear having a conversation with your partner about something serious, then it may be time to consider ending that relationship. Nobody should fear speaking up or expressing their concerns in a space they should feel secure. When you come home and dread seeing that person or the question they may ask you, it is time to reconsider.
The feeling of dread not only hurts the relationship, but you as well. The stress of the relationship that no longer fulfills you will negatively impact all aspects of your life, so be brave and speak up. For couples who live together, the cues are fairly different than those couples who do not. Same applies to married couples versus partners or those in an open relationship. The complexity of each relationship is dependent on good communication and desire, losing one or both is something you should look out for.
Additionally, do you find yourself making excuses for your partner? Defending them, whether in private or in public, is a telling sign of instability. Happiness is not secondary, ladies and gentlemen, and nor is it primary. Being happy is a state of being that is achieved internally. It is a great and beautiful thing when your relationship makes you happy, but make sure the happiness you are experiencing is correlated to positivity in your overall life.
Talking about ending your relationship when you have reached a tipping point is sensitive, and with the help of a therapist at Lifeworks who serve the communities of DFW, Dallas, and Frisco, Texas, you can be one step closer to liberating yourself.